Why a blog? I’ve been asking myself this for some time as this urge has arisen over this past year. Of course, the inner critic voices rage…
“People don’t need one more blog to read.”
“You don’t even read that many blogs.”
“This person’s work (fill in the blank) is way better than yours, so why even try?”
“Who do you think you are!? If only they knew your struggles they would laugh at your audacity…”
“What will (fill in the blank) this person think about this?”
“What if…. (fill in the blank for so many possibilities)… you are a horrible writer, you hate doing it, you don’t have enough time to do it, don’t’ really have anything to say etc”
Wah, wah, wah! WAH! & ahhhhh!
I used to listen religiously to these voices and sometimes I still do. I won’t lie it actually took some serious work for me to get here like close to a year of avoidance, hours be coached, and some serious courage. The inner critic hasn’t necessarily quieted but what I know now is that there is a fork in the road for me and I get to choose. I would also love to offer the same for you. Let’s explore this choice so that we can truly choose and not just aimlessly live our days and ultimately our lives out of fear or avoidance.
One path is that we listen to those inner critic voices and make decisions from that place. Those voices want to keep us small so we can feel safe and out of dodge (honestly our brain doing it’s best work to keep us surviving), but ultimately the impact is that we sell our soul on the altar of self-protection and never truly know our own voices or claim our own power. Maybe we live our lives to please someone else and get their affirmation or try to be perfect before we can truly take any risks. This path is fearful, reactive, and an incredibly dissonant place. Ultimately, we our giving the uniqueness of our being away on this path.
Or we can follow the narrow path of wholeheartedness, the other voice that calls to us in the moments where we feel truly alive, like we are here doing what we are created to do, or what we would do if we weren’t afraid, if we fully embraced courage. The voice that longs for self- expression, messy & scary as it is, to show up fully, the ability to take risks no matter the outcome, and ultimately authentic expression.
Obviously, these paths are not, one and done, or totally separate, they are interwoven, moment by moment, day by day, year by year. How do we maintain clarity in knowing what path we are choosing? As we venture out on the wholehearted path and take more risks, we notice more of those inner voices arising as we approach an edge, so again we choose which direction we want to go. We also cultivate this stronger best self voice and can learn to follow it as it leads us into the unknown adventure.
I’ve spent a lot of my life on the fearful path, wanting to hide, wanting to be liked, wanting to be right and affirmed by someone else. I find myself there still, no matter the work I do, yet day by day, moment by moment, I long to take the courageous path and sometimes I do. Like today, I am choosing to start a blog because that has felt right in my soul and I don’t have to understand why and people don’t have to like it, and I will be ok even if I don’t like it.
What I know within my bones is that there is power in choice and power in creativity versus reactivity. There is power in taking a risk and action!
So, this blog will hopefully be filled with courage, self-expression, authenticity, vulnerability, and creativity. I am choosing those today.